I am hating what you make me feel...But I am loving it all at the same time...

afraid0flove @ 2006-07-14T02:56:00

2006-07-14T07:02:47Z

Sorry...Haven't been posting latly...

Well...I think it is time for me to tell you the guy's name...The one I love SOOO much! His name is Carter.

Things are going fine between me and him! We even went to go see PotC:DMC with eachother and some other friend's!

OMG!!! Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead man's Chest! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!! KILL ME NOW!!! Lol! I HAVE SEEN THAT MOVIE 5 TIMES!!! I AM GOING TO SEE IT FOR THE SIXTH TIME TOMORROW NIGHT!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!! (As you can ALL tell, I am a TOTAL fan girl of PotC...I mean OBSESSED!!! Lol!)

I ship with Jack/Elizabeth! Lol! That is THE OTP!!! Lol! ;D

Well...It is late, so...Imma going to sleep, ya'll! Talk to all you people VERY soon!

HOLY CRAP!!!!

2006-07-09T03:19:04Z

OMG!!!! I have now seen 'Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest twice it was sooooooo AWESOME!!!!! I CANNOT FRIGGEN WAIT FOR THE THIRD ONE, NOW!!!!

Thank you...

2006-07-06T02:54:06Z

As you all know yesterday was the 4th of July! (Woot! Hope you all hadd an awesome time!) But that means...I didn't see him yesterday...

But today, I went to swimming and I didn't see him, but I didn't let it get to me and I swam the sets my coach gave me. He showed up late and when I saw him, I swear to god, I died and rose back to life...

Me and him share a lane with three other of the fastest people. We have about 25 people on the team, but only 5 (including me) are fast enough to be in what our coach like to call the "Mega-Hit Lane." (Don't ask. Lol!)

But because we share a lane, we usually talk all the time and every time I talk to him I just want to kiss him sooo badd...(I know it sounds wierd, but I do...)

Later on after practice I was waiting for him to come outta the locker room 'cause he was taking me home...

On the wayy home we really just talked about stuff and I started to talk about my friend Roberth because he hadd just texted me on my cell and told me he was in New York on a private yacht with a DJ and EVERYTHING! When I brought up Roberth, Evan finally let slip "I have a badd feeling about that guy, Ally. If he ever does anything badd to you tell me and I will let him have it 'cause you don't deserve to be treated like crap." All I could sayy was "Thanks..."

Maybe...

2006-07-03T21:39:48Z

One again, I have to miss Swimming Practice because I am starting to overwork myself...That means that is another day without seeing him...

I was talking to him on AIM and I started to tell him about my friend Roberth. He asked me all these protective questions like "Do you have a pic of him? Does he do drugs? Is he a nice guy?" (The answer to the questions are Yes, No, Yes) He sounded almost threatened when I talked about another boy...Which I thought was VERY sweet...

Maybe he likes me, after all...Maybe that's why he gets worried when he sees me with other guy's or when I talk about other guy's...Or maybe, I'm just dreaming...

.....

2006-07-02T01:57:05Z

My friend Noelle just told me today that her Ex-Boyfriend has been calling me stuff I don't like and he has been calling me a "poser skater". "Yeah...I bet she wears all those skater clothes but I bet she doesn't even know how to skatebaord!" WRONG!!!

The thing is...I don't even know what I did to Josh (the loser who calls me crap) and suddenly he hates me...ALOT! He also doesn't really like Noelle or Roberth...I mean for Noelle I would know why he wouldn't like her anymore. They used to go out but it got REALLLLLLY ugly...But Roberth? What did he EVER do to him?

I was talking to Roberth on my cell yesterday and I was almost in tears because it is my first year in HighSchool and it's not a good thing that someone already hates me...I REALLY don't want my four years of HighSchool to be badd...

Roberth was too nice, though...He was like "Does he want to fight? 'Cause I will if I have to." I was reallllly scared though so all I said was "Please, Roberth...Help me. I am doomed if this guy hates me." But, Roberth...Who will ALWAYS be there for me was like "Don't worry about it. I got your back."

That's when I realized...I think my four years of HighSchool are gonna be just fine if I have someone like Roberth on my side...

Thanks, Roberth...

2006-06-30T20:37:19Z

Summer School is FINALLY DONE!!! I know it sounds crazy but, I am really gonna miss it...Made ALOT of cool friend's. But there was this one guy who was, like, my best friend there...Roberth (the "H" is silent so his name is like "Robert") I am REALLY going to miss him...

Like, I was with a group of friend's walking around school grounds and this guy comes and puts his arms around me and was like "Come here! My friend has to ask you something!" and he was being really aggressive. I seriously couldn't fight him off..! My friend's were freaking out except for Roberth, my best friend there at school and who mayy just be my best friend...Ever.

He told the guy to let go of me and let us get on with our buisness but he kept walking away with me so finally Roberth walked over and just yanked me away from him. You could imagine I was really freaked so I hid behind Roberth. Heh...Finally the guy went on with his buisness after he realized Roberth wasn't gonna let me go without a fight...

I felt really weak after that because I couldn't stand up for myself...I needed Roberth's help...There is gonna be a time, though, when Roberth won't be there and I will have to help myself out of a badd situation...

I never said "Thank you" to him because I have always been badd at saying that to someone face-to-face...So here I am saying it now. Thanks, Roberth...For everything...

Yeah, right...

2006-06-30T03:04:42Z

One more day of Summer School left...Thank God!

Next Friday, my dad is taking me and my younger brother to go see Pirates of the Carribean 2: Dead man's Chest. I am reallllllly excited, but then my dad asked me a question. He wanted to know if he, the one I love, would like to come along with his younger brother...

At first I thought he was joking, but he was dead serious...All I could sayy was "Yeah, right I'll ask him!"

I really need to work on this confidence thing...

I couldn't do it...

2006-06-28T03:15:16Z

I was sitting at my laptop when he logged on. I decided not to IM him because I was afraid that maybe he was madd at me for not going to Swimming Practice...Boy, was I wrong.

He IM'd me and asked me if I was okay and he was all worried because I didn't show up for Swimming. When he asked me that, it made me want to tell him how I felt about him. I hadd it typed out but I stopped myself, I couldn't do it...I decided to just stop and talk to him for a very long time.

After about two hours of talking, we both decided to call it night. He logged off but I stayed on for a while and I talked to my best friend, Paula, who helps me through EVERYTHING. I was soooo madd at myself for not saying anything to him, and I don't think I will ever be able to, I needed to talk to her, but after a while she hadd to go, too.

All this time, I didn't know he even noticed I was on the same Swim Team as him even though we take turns taking eachother to Swimming...But when he IM'd me tonight, he proved me wrong...BIG time...I felt completely swept off my feet, like, I was totally caught off guard...And in love.

I'm gonna miss him...

2006-06-27T19:28:25Z

Once again, I hadd Summer School today and once again, it was very boring.

I can't go to Swimming today...Reason A) I am sore because I have been pushing myself very hard in Swimming and Reason B) My brother's best friend is over and since both my parent's aren't home I have to watch over them.

That means that since I am not going to Swimming, I can't see him...And even though it's only a day without him...I'm gonna miss his laugh...Miss his smile...I'm gonna miss...Him...

I can't do it...

2006-06-27T00:31:53Z

I had Summer School today...but not because I am stupid. Lol! Just the HighSchool I am going to has so many classes that I have to take some in the Summer, sadly...After that, I went straight from school to Swimming Practice but, it was rained out...

I still got to see him, though. We talked while we waited for our parents to come pick us up because practice was cancelled. I want to tell him what I feel for him but, I can't do it...I don't have the courage. We go everywhere together and even though I have known him for a while now, and I talk to him everyday...I can't tell him.

I have never felt this way before. I mean sure, I know what it feels like to like someone and to have that someone like you back and you got out for a couple months. But, after a while, the relationship dies. But, this is different...The only thing I look forward to is seeing him for those two and a half hours of practice we have everyday. Call me obsessed, but I am truly loving this obsession I have for him...